Why?
There are two types of Why questions?
The first and probably used by most people is Why did this happen? Questions like:
“Why are my parents not loving enough.”
“Why am I so fat or ugly or skinny or timid?”
“Why is life happening to me?”
The second Why question is Why am I doing what I am doing? Those questions are ones like:
“Why am I taking Yoga?”
“Why am I going to the grocery store?”
“Why am I taking chemotherapy?”
I learned many years ago from an incredible spiritual teacher that Why was not a question to be used. In the first instance I totally agree. The second Why about my “intention” is absolutely essential in living a conscious, present life.
I was reminded of the idea of Why this week during Yoga when the instructor stated the intention for the day was “Our Why”. Why were we taking this Yoga class. The first day I thought “well to be healthy”. The second day I was sick from my chemo and my why was deeper. I was there to be kind to me, take care of my body, get out of my head and love myself.
The Why question has become my focus now. From the smallest, most mundane task in my life, asking myself Why am I doing it? Going to the store for groceries becomes loving myself, fueling my body with organic rich foods, stocking the fridge so there is always something yummy to eat. Taking my car to the car wash becomes loving myself enough to brighten the machine that gets me from place to place without argument.
Our lives have become overwhelmed with habitual behavior. So eloquently demonstrated in the first Karate Kid, the essence of “wax on, wax off” is that we can learn valuable lessons from seemingly simply or mundane tasks. This “wax on, “wax off” idea also shares the Buddhist teaching of being present. When you ask the first Why question, it is surrounded with worry. Worry by its very nature means thinking into the past or the future. When you hoist yourself into awareness of the Present moment asking the second Why question, worry melts away. Whenever you ask a Why question about the past or the future, you do yourself a huge disserve because you miss the gift of the moment.
I have been missing quite a few gifts of the present moment after receiving a diagnosis of cancer and yet I continually bring myself back to the Now. It is a practice like anything else. When I find myself asking those first Why questions framed “Why did this happen to me” or a version of the Why question: “What if . . . . . .”, I can’t be fooled by the phrasing itself. Projecting problems into the future or worrying about problems from the past are all forms of WHY.
Today at least 3 times ask yourself WHY you are doing what you are doing at the moment. Let your heart speak the answer. If you cannot find a loving answer perhaps it’s time to stop doing that thing.
If you have trouble with an answer, take this answer if you wish: “I am learning something important as a byproduct of doing something that is partially or completely unrelated without realizing I am learning it.” I guarantee you the learning will be obvious when it occurs.